Sunday, October 25, 2009

I'm all Surrounded

Morning comes too Early
And Night Time falls too Late
And sometimes all I want to do is Wait
The Shadows I've been hiding in
Has fled from me today...

I know its easier
To walk away
Than look you in the Eyes
But a time will Rise
When I shall Shelter you
From the Skies
And here beneath the Stars tonight I lie
You will slowly yield the Light
As I awaken from my Longest Night...

Dreams are shaken
Setting Sirens
Waking up my tired eyes
With the light of your memories
All rushing into my Head...

By the window stands a Mirror
Of my heart in which she dances
She was dancing through the night
Above my bed...

With one hand through the Window
I Close the Shutters
All against the Wind
And from a distant tower I hear you call
'Let light surround you'

It's been a long, long time
I've had a while to think it over
In the end I only see the change
From Light to dark
Dark to light
Light to dark
Dark to light...

Heaven must be more than this
When angels wake me with a Kiss
When sacred hearts won't give the pain
To me make me happy all again...

I stand before the window
The shadow slowly fading
From the Wall
And from a distant tower I hear you call
'Let light surround you'

Once lost but I was found
When I heard the glass shatter all around me
I sent your spirit tumbling down the hill
But I will hold this one on now inside me still
This Spirit whispers words to clear my mind
I once could see but now at last I'm Blind...
I'm Content...

I know its easier
To walk away
Than look you in the Eyes
But I had given
All than I can take
And now I've only habits left to Break
Tonight I'll still be lying here surrounded
In all your light

Monday, August 17, 2009

Conceiving You...

I've been wanting you for so long
You reach up my senses and make your form
These feelings make me repel away from you
Away from you...

I've been watching you
Not waiting, for the right moment to make the first move
Do you want to know
Why I keep avoiding your eyes?
And why I'm running away?
Its Crazy... I know

You make me realize my true color
The bleak form and the perishing conscience
And then off comes the wind
And blows me away from you...
Away from you...

Or maybe I am Destined to be Alone
Or maybe there is someone who will understand
That I'm not able to share my world
I'm still running away
Its Crazy... I know

I've been Conceiving You
For too Long
If only I could change the things around...

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Occam's Razor

"Simplicity is the Ultimate Sophistication"

Follow the Pied Piper, follow him to your death
In this World the Rat Race Consumes you
Instigated by the world, by the esoteric powers
Miniscule miracle, it ceases to exist

Looking up to the sky, the rain blurring the eyes
The piercing and impaling, the merciless dismay
Walking like a machine, what we all have turned to
We are blinded by the light, blinded by the light

Break the shackles, free yourself from the clutches of life
Follow the law of parsimony, soon you shall arrive
This world needs no extra, no extra deeds or might
Occam's Razor is the key, for your reason and right

Jaded is the feeling, the feeling of respite
When people run around you, feeling nothing but sheer hate
Pain absorbs the energies, of peace and content in life
All the extra work we do, it kills us with their knife

"Show me the path, show me the road to light"
"Help me duel with the system, and triumph against it"
"This prayer I seek the answer, with my last breath nearing"
"I am the dreaded victim, I am the Social Man"

Break the shackles, free yourself from the clutches of life
Follow the law of parsimony, soon you shall arrive
This world needs no extra, no extra deeds or might
Occam's Razor is the key, for your reason and right


When we need not do the unnecessary
When we lead the life is joy
When we jump ahead of the others
When we reason for no choice

When we do what is necessary
The question is answered
The life needs no extra
Simplicity is what it asks

Break the shackles, free yourself from the clutches of life
Follow the law of parsimony, soon you shall arrive
This world needs no extra, no extra deeds or might
Occam's Razor is the key, for your reason and right

Live your life with harmony, embrace the simple life
Follow the law of parsimony, soon you shall arrive
This world needs simplicity, complex thoughts discarded
Occam's Razor is the key, for your reason and right
For your Reason and Right


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dreams left Unanswered - Consumerism in the Indian Education System

Money is not everything. Although it does make up for a hell lot of things people want, still it is not everything. The trends of consumerism can also be seen in the Indian Education System. If the system boasts to be a myriad of opportunities, it needs a slap on its face right away.

Childhood fosters learning, learning fosters knowledge and knowledge fosters temptation. In this chain, a person often forgets what he aspires to be during his sunshine days. A Fighter Pilot, a Scientist, a Painter, a Guitarist or a Cricket Player, everything just disappears into dust under the immense pressure of Social Duty. The chronological Phenomenon in the Indian Education System is also noteworthy.

A kid joins school, and ever since then, is under pressure to perform academically. He is trialled and tested every now and then to prove to the Society how good or how bad he is. He needs to carry a heavy bag, sometimes almost half his weight, filled with books to school, and is expected to excel in all that. After the board exams, he is expected to take the "best" Course of Action, the "best" being decided as to what the academically brilliant co-students are pursuing or what the general crowd perceives to be marvelous. Consumerism comes into the picture in all this. Starting from the Parent's decision to provide quality education to their Child to the Child deciding what Stream to pursue after his 10th boards, in this case generally following what everyone looks up to - be it a Science or Commerce Stream in the Best Institute Possible. The extreme exposures from Social Pressure and Heavy Responsibilities loaded on the Child's shoulders forces him to take a decision beyond his Childhood aspirations. This is the step when the Fighter Pilot or the Cricket Player dies. And comes up a Potential Engineer or a Doctor or a CA.

Why is society so Skewed in this regard? Why can't every individual pursue what he dreams of becoming? In fact, a person would give his 100% effort for the Society if he is put in a place where he can openly declare that what he is doing is completely independent of any force-feeding or social duties. By social duty, it means the glimpses of the so called "successful career path" which is constantly bombarded upon the individual to force him and make him believe that there is just one path for him to reach Social Happiness and attain a Successful Life. This is how success is defined in the Indian context. And it is a pity.

When it comes to MBA, fifteen years back, majority of the Children would never in fact, think that he or she would end up being a Business Manager. Nobody does. But the Skewed society is such that it forces its self-made definition of a successful path into the human brain that everybody, by the time he or she reaches the 12th standard, or is pursuing Graduation, thinks that MBA (or a similar Master degree) is the only way towards salvation, towards eternal success. People spend ages to get into an MBA institute, blindly believing that this route will provide success for the individual. But financial independence is not the only goal which defines success. Has anyone thought that when he or she sits on a chair, controlling a huge enterprise, he would be completely satisfied and happy with the work he is doing? Wouldn't he rather be controlling a spaceship and traveling through asteroids and visiting alien planets?

Consumerism in the Education perspective has made life a sorry state in India. The West holds a host of opportunities for kids out there, who are allowed to choose anything they desire, without anyone questioning their choices or laughing at their decisions. Theology, Philosophy, Genetic Research, Photographer, Painter, Guitarist, Singer, whatever the person aspires to be can be achieved. I'm not saying it is IMPOSSIBLE here in our country. But one who dares to tread in those paths often are victims of Social Mockery and being labeled as Inferior. The society who indulges in such acts of Negative Reinforcements against such interesting career paths needs to be incinerated, i believe. Because every individual is born for a purpose, a reason. And if, under the pressures of society, he changes his course and becomes a money-minting machine, then God save the World.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Behaviors of the Consumed

Eats. Muriel really eats. She devours tons and tons of food before anyone even realizes this inhumane behavior of hers. Behavior of the primitive, the paranoid, the obese. And then she lets go of her attire. Which is of course, a part of her act, and she smiles in glee and the audience applauds. The curtain falls.

Muriel is a stage performer. She has just performed the role of a bloating female Ogre. During the encore, she is applauded for her witty acts of eating half burnt rodent meat at incredible speed. She is 32, and weighs over 70 kilograms. They generally pay her a lot of money for her acting skills.

Regardless of who we are via Genesis, the acts and strange things which we do define us more than our Surnames. You can call it a Semiotic Perspective, the likes which would make our existence obsolete without associating ourselves with things we eat, things we drive or things we spray around. There would be a time soon when we would have Brand names instead of Surnames, which would justify our states better.

In a world full of advice, people gasp for breath against this huge tsunami of Advertisements falling every hour on our small heads. Buy this, don’t buy this, throw this, don’t throw this, each and every message coming through our senses turn out to be advices and advices. The human character is no more. We are driven everyday by someone else, or something else. I am not being cynical about this, because whatever said and done, it is all cumulating up as fun inside of us. But to think of this fact that every decision we make has so many propellers behind it, some being thrust on by people we don’t even know or care. Advertisements rule the world, Marketing has overtaken freewill.

Consumers are shoved into this Perceptive Reality called satisfaction through consumption. Each and every consumer thinks he is independent and powerful enough and is leading his life like an emperor. But the fact of the matter is that for every satisfaction we thrive for, is not inherent. It is all planted and set up by repetitive exposure of advices and temptations. Which are in turn engineered by Companies for fooling the consumers into thinking that he needs this stuff so bad that he must buy it.

The instance of Muriel as an actor shows the essence of a script, which leads a normal human being to become a voracious ugly creature, just at the instruction of the writer and director. Applying the same framework to the real life outside the stage, it’s the same jaded picture. The Advertisements and the constant AIDA algorithm replace the Direction and Script, and the everyday consumer replaces the actor.

There might be millions of counter-arguments to this post, but on careful assessment, once can evaluate every action of every individual to be inspired or instigated by something or someone. Advertisements and Marketing communication act as the instigator more than the inspirer, since there are a lot of things which a man may discard away from his everyday life, and not suffer consequences (watching a movie, for instance) at all. But the force of persuasion bestowed by the Advertising Virus has eaten it all. Eaten the independent human decision. Eaten more than what Ogre Muriel has ever eaten in her entire life. All of it...

Saturday, July 4, 2009

A-Mateur Life

"Oi Asshole! Gimme your Sandwich!"

"But, but... What do I have for my lunch?"

"You can have this..." *WHAM!*

Pampering Parents. They never know their son had Nightmares of the Bullies tormenting him in class. No, there was complete justification as to why A-Mateur did not mention this Everyday Tremor to his Folks... He had a Huge Ego... An ego that could easily crush his immature existence in a second... And that did not let him reveal in front of his Pampering folks that he was apparently a Coward, a Loser, a Punching Bag... Time flew... And one day, he committed Suicide... Game Over...

*This is called WRITER'S BLOCK, btw...*

Sunday, June 14, 2009

My Prayer

Mighty One,

Help me be a channel of Thy peace
That where there is hatred, I may bring love
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony
That where there is error, I may bring truth
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith
That where there is despair, I may bring hope
That where there is shadow, I may bring light
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy
That I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted
That I may seek to understand rather than to be understood
That I may seek to love, rather than to be loved
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds,
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven

Monday, May 11, 2009

Chronicles de Journia

Procrastination kills. Be it just for moments or for a whole decade. The wee hours of rainfall when the taxi just drives past, the human mind too timid to get drenched for just a couple of seconds, deciding to wait for another one... Expecting hopefully to cozy up in another yellow cab... They come every 10 seconds... But there's no "another" now... No taxi, no drydom... 2 seconds of wet aversion and now need to walk in the cold rain for half an hour... Primitive instance this, yet worth thinking of...

April came, and the blog was ignored... No more... I write...

Much to my delight had I got the opportunity to tread on Foreign Earth... My duties embrace comfort, the cusp of perfection, and I am happy... My bottle shattered - Green and Melancholic... The Other Half Revisited, the heat unleashing the demento cell of the Brain... The Gin and tonic... The Fake Answers... And the Pat on the Back... All in the pipeline...

Someone told me that I write too vaguely... I would like to deny that... Being a progressive musician, I request everybody to open their minds and try to read my blog... It is as simple as a Chaai and an Egg Patties...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Most Powerful Prodigy which Drove my Enthusiasm to do Something and Anything

This is Solid Snake. A Man driven by his Urge for Knowledge and Sustainability. A Man letting go of almost everything good in his way to dive deep into the Pits of Corruption and Fallacy, to eliminate Danger and Threat and to Restore the Ways of a Straightforward Life.

Courtesy: Hideo Kojima (Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo) under the Banner METAL GEAR SOLID


Flawless minds of Mortals
Returning us the Favor
Ejecting out all Hatred
Sustaining in For Ever
Death a Fearful Nemesis
Retribution a Scary way
For the Mind chooses to Blunder
to Go against the Light of the Day

Under wretched Skies, under Thunder Storms
The Treading goes on and on
Hurdle upon hurdle & Milestones crossed
Voraciously seeking a New Dawn

Crime and Violence in
The Minds of all Within
Drives the Inner Beast
Blackens the Conscience
Death a Fearful Nemesis
Retribution a Scary way
After Death comes the Time
The Purgatory Relishes

Under wretched Skies, under Thunder Storms
The Treading goes on and on
Hurdle upon hurdle & Milestones crossed
Voraciously seeking a New Dawn

Hello, Souls of Men
Who Claim as Gentlemen
Are Invited Here
To the Purgatory
The Shining Pit of Lava
Is where the Soul is Fed
To Cleanse the Evil Done
To Innocent the Man

Purgatory Cleansing
The Pit of Lava Drenching
Cleanses the Soul of Man
Tries to Better it While it Can
But alas, the Plight
Reducing the Body Half Sized
The Soul Cleansed of Sin
Has only a Baby Within

Under wretched Skies, under Thunder Storms
The Treading goes on and on
Hurdle upon hurdle & Milestones crossed
Voraciously seeking a New Dawn

Cleansing up the Soul, mind and body's Toll
Reduces it to Innocence
When the baby Cries, now you know Why
The Purgatory afflicts its Wrath
That's how the Cycle Flows, on the Body and Soul
Purity just a Form
Of Innocence, of no Knowledge
Growing up is our Ultimate Sin...
We shall all Go...
To the Purgatory

An Existence Scaling Eternity

Part I: Outroduction

Standing by the Lake
I see my own Reflection
Remembering the Past
My Deeds under Conviction
Barren Ambitions
I have Sinned myself
There is Nowhere now
No Shelter no Spare Forgiveness

I see myself , as a Failed Soul
Never wanted this, its over, no more
I shall end my Life, rid of all the Dark
I destroyed the Light, now I Erase my Mark

How could I end up so Evil?
How could I Darken my Soul?
My Creation a Fault, my Existence an Err
Am I the "Successful Man"?

Part II: Spawn

Sixty years back in Time
When the Mother gave Birth to the Child
No Remorse, no Regret, no Pain
The Legacy Bearer had arrived
Nourished and Groomed
I grew up, took the Flame
And lit the Torch of Knowledge
Here I was, a Man to be

I saw in Me, the Light of the Day
All my Efforts, bore Fruits of Joy
Climbing up, the Endless Ladder
I reach the top, without Surrender

Have I done what is needed?
Inflicted pain, Vicariously
I am a Leader, I am the Man
Have I Released the Suffering off other Men?

Waking up Everyday
With the Feel of Pain
The World Burns as I Rise
Is this The Way? Is my Path Astray?
Is Money a Choice? Am I put up by Clay?
Have I done Evil?

Part III: Anguish


Part IV: Reflection

I cannot Forget
The Pain I Felt
When I walked by
The Poor Little Child
He asked me How
To Rid his Pain
His unfair Life
Like the Merciless Rain

Oh, when we Become
What we Aspire
We forget Others
And their Painful Fires
Their Haunting Ghouls
Demons let Loose
The Cruel World
The Fate all Ruined

Harmony exists in Theory
The Sound of Music
Releases the Beauty
This Frame so Perfect
Can we use it in Life?
Can we save them All?
And make them Smile...

Oh, the Duty of Man
Is not to Achieve
His Personal Gains
In his Family's Reach
When God Sent me
He had a Motive
For me to be
His Instrument of Harmony

The Poor Little Child
He Changed my Mind
I Realize
I'm still not Done...

Part V: Action/Conclusion

My Age has Become, my Pro and my Con
My Knowledge Gained, My Ability Confound
I need to Help, but my Limbs Deny
My Son, you should, carry my Flame
My Legacy, and My Name...

I see in You, what I was Not
The Light Required, this World Aspires
Retrieve the Peace, Restore the Joy
Maintain Harmony, my Dearest Boy

What I thought I did
Was Incomplete
Its your Turn Now
To Sow the Seeds
As I take my Last Breath
I feel Proud of You
You are my Son
You are the "Successful Man"

The End

A Speculative Adieu... Or Something on those Lines

Friends and Comrades... My Term III Finals are approaching, and I have done zilch to expect a good grade this time... Although flunking ain't one of my habits, I doubt i'll be able to live up to it this time... Worser things apart, I would be going on a Trip to Delhi Plus a Eurotrip as well... So I wouldn't be blogging much in the coming 2 months... However, this is subject to change, depending on the resources available and unavailable...

I had written 2 pieces a while back but had forgotten to post them here... Doing that rightaway... And, I guess that would be it! See you folks... Stay Tuned...

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Black Clouds and Silver Linings

"And He will give you everything you need from day to day if you seek Him first and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." Matthew 6:33

The wait is finally over... The Gods are here...

Dream Theater's new album Black Clouds and Silver Linings is due to be released on the 23rd of June, 2009. After their flabbergasting entry into the Progressive Metal Scene with their Platinum Album IMAGES AND WORDS, Dream Theater is said to finally incorporate their Old Technically Rich Attributes to this new album, popularly christened as IMAGES AND WORDS PART II.

Although their last commercial venture, SYSTEMATIC CHAOS was quite a hit among the Metal loving Junta, it lacked the typical Dream Theater expertise in its finishing. "In the Presence of Enemies" was a close contender to their Old technical Prowess but still it was more Popularity oriented. This new album promises to give a 10/10 for all the Prog Loving Crazy Fans, ironically, this being Dream Theater's 10th Released Album as well.

The track listing for BLACK CLOUDS & SILVER LININGS is as follows:

1. A Nightmare to Remember
2. A Rite of Passage
3. Wither
4. The Shattered Fortress
5. The Best of Times
6. The Count of Tuscany

Dream Theater has this knack of living up to the Song Titles, in which case, these songs are going to be epics, A to Z. For one, I am really very excited over this news, and am really eager to get my hands on the first DVD released in India.

Review Time. In my opinion, the first song would be somewhat of a dark song, with more Stoner influence and would end in the same magnificent Dream Theater style, with a twist towards the end, of course. As a matter of fact, I am mostly inspired by this style of writing, and try to incorporate this specific flow in all my Lyrics. The Second song sounds more like a slow peppy Proggy number, more like maybe The Spirit Carries On from Scenes fame. The Second song should be the MTV kinda song, which DT needs to publish to be able to grab attention in the commerical arena. The third song can be of two types - Opethish, slow and unhappy, or something which could be very very heavy and technically complex. Waiting for that! The fourth one, of course, as the name suggests, is the next piece to the Alcoholics Anonymous series of Mike Portnoy. The Shattered Fortress = The Glass Prison makes complete sense. So there you go, another run down the hill killing you kinda song. The fifth song sounds like a Take the Time kinda motivation song with major impressions. And this would also be one heck of a song, no doubt. Well, the final song is about the Count of Tuscany. This would be in the lines of Octavarium and A Change of Seasons. But, I believe, this could be a really much awaited Epic which ALL Dream Theater fans were dying to listen to. Possibly a 25 minute song, all I can say on this is, fasten your seat belts.

The cover is by far the BEST Dream Theater album cover released till date. Beautifully completed, it figures an elephant, on top of quite a few books, holding a painting brush by its trunk. This could possibly mean the DT brain doing a lot of research on what to write, but finally drew an eye (Awake fame) and this was accepted by the crow as well (Rudess!!) and hence they open the door towards light amidst the dark sinister Clouds and Celestial Bodies. The Broken Bottle is reminiscent of Mike Portnoy's Alcoholics Anonymous Series. Finally, I think the young boy would represent the future budding Prog Bands (hopefully, my band would take this place one day), who is staring at the light, understanding how DT knits and finishes all its amazing writings, taking the knowledge and carrying the torch (Don't worry DT, Nova Sanctum would give its life to carry your saga, till the end of time). Overall, a beautiful picture.

Can't wait for BCSL. Hail DT!! The best band in the whole world!!

Monday, March 9, 2009


Tighten your Seatbelts
Off we Go
We zip beyond Mach Three
Never we Slow
This pace of the human mind
Constantly moves up the tide
Each second the speed of life
Quantifies in this drive

Far outwards, further we reach
Beating the drums, sowing our seeds
Revolutions, multiplied the torque
A sweaty brow, an endless journey

Run faster, move thy flag of Kinship
Your property your life at stake
Burning fingers, tiring limbs
Endure them always, staying awake
Your heavy burden, shall you bear
Till your grave, where ends Despair

Moving, into the wild
Panting, there ain't no denial
The blink of an eye, you don't fall down
Time and Space, in your head
You move Faster than Sound

Hush now, discussions going on
Conspiracy, hypocrisy
Ties you by your legs, makes you surrender
Check your laces, tighten them up, and run away

There ain't no time, to grief and cry
Over petty matters, there's no point why
Your burden keep it safe and sound
Even when you end up moving round and round

Moving, into the wild
Panting, there ain't no denial
The blink of an eye, you don't fall down
Time and Space, in your head
You move Faster than Sound

And when you find, you're just in time
Your straps bound, breathing denounced
The hopes alive, and your dreams still
Intact in time, for you to find... them
You're moving faster faster faster
Faster than Sound

Moving, into the wild
Panting, there ain't no denial
The blink of an eye, you don't fall down
Time and Space, in your head
You move Faster than Sound

Moving, into the wild
Panting, there ain't no denial
The blink of an eye, you don't fall down
Time and Space, in your head
You move Faster than Sound
Faster than sound...

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Kaged and Kreased

When Skrubafeldt left the House, he had in mind all his memories... How the Blimey had pissed on his lap, how the Blimey had pestered his ever treasured manhood, and how the owner of the Blimey came home to find Blimey dead...

"What on earth happened?!! Dwight! How did this happen?"

"Erm... Mrs. Guzman, your puppy bit me on my leg, see? So i tried kicking it off, and it fell on the fireplace."

"But you could have done something else, couldn't you, rather than incinerating poor Rover! Ow you blasted sonofagun! You'll pay for this! Get out! NOW!!"

What an idiot Dwight was! Can't even take care of one explanation, uttered Skrubafeldt. The Blimey was ever irritating. Those photos on the mantleplace were so pretty, so nice. But the blimey had to interfere. Good that he died, thought Skrubafeldt. That pair of withered bosoms can't do no shit! Haha, he smirked.

But wait, what if Uncle Randy came to know, thought Dwight. He'd kill me. He'd send me to juvenile hall again! No!! I don't want those rotten potatoes in my mouth again! No!! No way!!

Shut the fuck up, moron! I am Skrubafeldt. I shall not let you, my love, go to that whore of a place again... If you are that concerned with saving your ass from that wheezer, do this.

Dwight tiptoed across the Guzman backyard. He jumped the fence, and quietly opened Uncle Randy's garage door.

There! There it is!! Take it! Yes, the whole fuckin gallon! And don't forget the matchbox! Haha!! Old senile ass will find out how the blimey had felt inside the fireplace... Hahaahaahaaa!!

Mrs. Guzman could still not recover from the shock she got from the sight of the burnt, bone-exposed body of poor ol Rover. After Henry's death at the Vietnam war, she, a woman of 70, was all alone. She had a very remarkable life. A Playboy playmate for three consecutive years in the Sixties, she was quite the bombshell. they said. Yet now, her face or figure had no meaning. She led a life of solitude, and only had Rover, her faithful pet dog, as company. She sat on the couch and started weeping. That Dwight kid was insane. Randy should have locked him in his garage like he did before, she thought. She decided that evening she would visit Randy and complain about this vicious murder of her dog.

Sprinkle left! Sprinkle right! Yes yes yes!!! Dwight, you are getting brighter, my love. Skrubafeldt makes you brighter and sharper and gaaaaaaaaayyyy!!! Hahahahahaa!! Watch out, its falling on your shirt too... There you go!! That's like a nice urchin!

Suddenly, Mrs. Guzman hears a loud loud holler.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! HELP!! HELP ME!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

Dwight was writhing in pain as the fire had caught up his shirt, his curly hair and his tracks. Mrs. Guzman couldn't take it anymore. She fainted on her couch after this glimpse through her window. What the fuck was happening??

You moron! You fool! I told you to throw the match towards the house. And you had smeared gasoline on your hands too??l!! Aaaaaaaa!!! The pain!! Ohhh the pain!! Son of a bitch!

Dwight had suffered the plight of being falsely accused of murdering his aunt, for which he spent 10 years at juvenile hall. He developed a split-personality disorder there, which motivated him to commit out-witted, paranoid and sexually perverted acts. He called himself Skrubafeldt, the gay soul. Dwight's body lay dead. Skrubafeldt was no more. The Creased soul was incinerated to dust.

The Shorter Story

"Mommy... When is daddy coming home?", shrieks an angry Shruthi, as she tries valiantly to fix those balloons above the fridge, in vain. Her dad would better come early today, as it spells D-DAY in the Rao family calendar today - Shruthi's 8th birthday.

"Wait na, shweetie... Papa is coming na, he told you he won't be late today. And you be careful, ok, with those scissors! Careful with the egdes!"

"Ouch!", does Shruthi as she punctures her left pinky trying to poke open the plastic bag full of "Uncle Redneck" balloons.

"Mommy! See my finger is bloody now! I am doing so much much work for decorating! All the kids we had called better come! Otherwise I am not eating anything!"

The wind caressed over the cold, pale, white scene at #22 F, Doughstone Lane, Illinois. It was more or less a lower-middle-bracket dwelling area. Shujith is one brain-drained NRI, basically half Kannada half Mallu, who, alongwith his Mallu wife Renjitha and daughter Shruthi, lived on the Fourth floor of this ordinary, economical residential complex. Shujith moved in nine years ago, as an IT outsourced labour to the US, representing an Indian multinational, which he soon quit, and joined an IT counselling firm set up by the infamous JK Mishra and Sons from Pleasanton, CA. He was earning decent money, and less than a year after his arrival, was getting offers from brahmins, back offshore. Shujith's parents, utterly overjoyed, took a large dowry and ended Shujith's not-at-all colorful bachelorhood (Shujith was a non drinker, non smoker, a vegetarian and never experienced party life) by getting Renjitha, a B Ed. from Shornur, Kerala, to marry him. Like Shujith, Renjitha was a similar, strong lady, who waxed her hands and legs only once, during her pregnancy when she was hospitalized, as her mother found out that American Nurses loathe Indian women patients with grizzly features. Both Renjitha and her mother found this fact very weird, and concluded it with the statement "Psycho Foreigners".

However, their daughter Shruthi was groomed the American way, at St. Lauren's School, a convent, where Shruthi was admitted when she was three. To Shruthi's surprise, she managed to have only four friends who did not spit over her tiffin box full of uttapam - A girl called Ramala with a faint moustache at this young an age, basically from Vijaywada, AP, Rizwanur, a Bangladeshi boy, who likes his green pants a lot, Dhipika, another girl with Mallu nativity and Doug, the geek, whose specs always seem to be falling over his profusely running nose, and Doug was the only American Kid in their group.

The Clock rang. It was 7 PM and Shujith had sweaty eyebrows inside his AC office hall. His company had recently installed an ERP Software System for their Clients, Pratt Miller and Jonathan Borowski, who ran a chain of tin cutting equipment across the East Shore, and was doing good, especially in NYC. But less than a month of installation, when the whole business was being bestowed over the ERP System, it was constantly returning errors of Overloading that night. Shujith cursed his God Shanmugam, and wondered how on earth can he possibly solve this problem to reach home in time for Shruthi's birthday with the cake, which he had bought in the afternoon, from a discount store. Shujith was getting nervous by the second.

"Anand... These bugs keep on coming when you least expect them to!! The internet traffic is pretty heavy too, so I don't think you and me alone in this office can manage to whiff off this bug tonight..."

"But Sir, you are the only senior who can take care of this problem now. All the others have left the office, and are not returning their calls. I think everyone's gone out with their families tonight. Its snowing, you know", Anand says. Anand is a newly recruited Software Engineer.

"Yes i know, but how can I override the system now, especially when so much is at stake. Miller and Borowski would end up killing Mishra Ji, and I'll be in trouble for it!"

"Sir, I think about three hours of debugging shoud do the trick... After all, you are a genius sir! You can do it!"

Shujith wondered what on earth can he do to make it home in time. It was a very critical project, and Shujith could end up losing his job if the system was not up by that night. He clicked away at the piece of code on his Computer, wiping his forehead with his kerchief... The night was getting longer...

"Mommy!! Nobody has come till now!!! Not even daddy!! What happened to the neighbors? Are they dead?". Shruthi was almost in tears. It was 8 already, and there was nobody in the house, other than her mother. It was supposed to be a wonderful birthday celebration. The colorful balloons were in place, the candles surrounded the apartment. But the guests had not arrived, And neither did the head host.

"Wait, shweetie... Let me call up your friends." Renjitha dialled one number after the other, only to arrive at the answering machines all the time. She was lucky to get through Ramala's mother, who picked up the call, and was quite reluctant to tell anything back to Renjitha.

"Ohhh!! We completely forgot, Mrs, Rao! You know Ramala's dad was caught by a few goons last week when he was returning home at night. Ever since then, even we do not go out that much. Sorry Mrs. Rao, my best wishes to your daughter. Ohh, Ramala is sleeping. I'll let her know you called once she wakes up."

Renjitha was educated. She understood the reactions by Ramala's mother. They were ignoring them. "As it is, foreigners treat us like shit, now even our Indian people are becoming like them!! Too Bad", she thought. She realized the guests would not be coming. Indians are never considered human. Especially the Rao's. Renjitha went and made Shruthi sit on her lap. She took a towel and wiped off Shruthi's wet eyes and cheeks.

"It is up now sir. But you'll need to stay for another hour. The Boss told us na, post-debugging-one-hour", says Anand.

Finally at 10 PM, Shujith runs out of his office, cake packet on one hand, mobile on his ear with the other.

"Hello. What happened? Anyone arrived?"

"There's no one. And you could have called earlier. Shweetie was very upset. Come home fast. I heard the roads are not safe anymore"

"Arre i'm already driving! I'll be home ASAP, i mean, fast!"

Shujith took the elevator and pressed the fourth button. As he arrived, he saw the answer to his surd existense. All the candles were out. The balloons were still swaying under the fan. Most of the lights were out. The Dosas went cold inside the kitchen. Their bedroom light was on, and Renijtha was sitting alone, gazing at the red face of Shruthi, aestivating, hair all messy.

"She waited for you... She waited for her friends... Nobody came... I tried to call but everyone ignored me. Most of the neighbours, including the Delhi wallas are out partying at that new Lounge across the Bridge. The posters say they are offering free drinks. As it is, Indians are cheap. But you? You could have mended up shweetie's time. I tried controlling her, but she did not stop crying. She did not eat anything and fell asleep. Why didn't you leave early from work? Why can't your bloody company allow you some personal space? Are we slaves? Is this what we are here for? The great NRI Dream?"

Sujith stared at Renjitha. He had messed it all up. There was no birthday cake, no guests, no songs for his daughter. There was no daddy. All others have big big parties. For Shujith, he had disappointed his daughter. He wondered how soon can he quit and leave for India. Perhaps a couple of months. Yes, appa and ammi would also be happy, he thought.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

There's Green on the Other Side of the Hill

Waking up in the Morning
With the sound of the Old Clock
Recuperating on your past Day
The Hazy Figures behind the Silhouette
Reminds you of your winding way
When you feel your hands are immobile
And your Head doesn't give Away
Looking in the Mirror you find those empty Eyes
Which once were full of Disarray

Its always Green
On the other side of the Hill
You try to Reach
But you never will
A Hopeless Journey...

You take the instrument in your trembling Hands
And you try to be Reluctant
But the might of Inspiration catches you by your neck
The effect rises up as you Think
You Climb the Ladder, feel the brightened Stars
You fall down on your pretty Bed
This Trampoline your Brain Designs
Makes you go High as you Think

Its always Green
On the other side of the Hill
You try to Reach
But you never Will
A Sweet Surrender...
Your mind flies Higher...
The Path so Slender...
The Smell a Wonder...
A Sweet Surrender...

And when you Tread across the Green Countryside
You see the Cattle Grazing Still
You Realize you're in your Illusion
But you won't stop till you reach the Hill

You hear the Sirens the Loud pitching Noise
But you Care Less as you Stay
The World Complicates the Life so Pure
Its time you Roundabout as you Pray

Its always Green
On the other side of the Hill
You try to Reach
But you never Will
You try to Crawl...
You try to Run...
You find your Monsters...
Walking on the River...
You Feel for the Lesser...
As you Surrender...
To the Grass so Greener...
The Might of Wonder...
The Night of Wonder...
Sweet Surrender...

The Grave and the Altar...
You Lie and Wonder...
How Sweet the Surrender...
The Life is Over...
Your Life is Over...

Friday, February 27, 2009

A Mourning over the Faded Scarlet

My Heart weeps out to the Scene
Where She lies Numb and Serene
The Cruel Hand of Fate, Carried her Away

I look inside Her Eyes, I feel Her Soul cry
A Merciless God, Cruel on Her Soul
A Beautiful Flower, now Fades into the Dust

Oh my Pristine, dweller in my Heart
You've broken it away, and Breathed your Last
Now where shall I go, I need no Despair
My eyes Wet and my Hands Cold, I feel endless Pain

My Dear, my Only Reason
Is now carried away
What am I left with?
My Guilt, my Pain

Should I End my Life?
To Rejoin You?
Am I the Reason you Died?
Am I your Killer?

Oh my Pristine, I ended Your Life
My Confused Brain, made you Breathe Your Last
Now I understand, I need no Despair,
Now I End my Life, My Soul Unforgiven...

Forever and Ever, forever till I find you...
Forever and Ever, forever till I need you...
I Miss You...


Suffocation locks the Neck
Terrorizes the Breath
Kills the head, to turn one Dead
Try cutting the vein, to release the Pain
If all these Fail, its a Bloody Trail

Waking up, to the Torture and the Cries
Everything has Died, the World Ends
Blasting, explosions in the Head
Erupting all the Rage, its time to show the Hate...

You, won't be Spared, From the Rage
Of the Bleeding Victims
You, shall be Destroyed, by Knife or Fist
Of the Bleeding Victims

Terrorize the Souls, in the name of an unknown Ghoul
Force the Brutal Deed, inherent in your Seed
Endless Vengeance Flows, your Bloody purity Erodes
Let others Own your Sins, this is too much You Fucking Fiend

Peel you off your Skin, burn you amid the Din
Let your Fake Messiah Die, erase you and your Lie
Your Wretch don't deserve to live, no more suffering shall you Give
I shall cut you by your Throat, its the only way to end your Revolt...

You, won't be Spared, From the Rage
Of the Bleeding Victims
You, shall be Destroyed, by Knife or Fist
Of the Bleeding Victims

"Bleed to death, I shall make you pay,
Wrench your neck, then I shall Slay,
Your Breed, your Kin and your Life,
I shall Kill, make you Pay.
Knife or Fist, Gun or Bane, you shall Face,
Experience the Wrath, of the Innocent you have Slayed,
You Monster, you deserve to see,
The Blood Oozing out, as you Bleed"

I kill you, feed you to the Dogs
Cut your Head, lift it up, rejoice on what I've done
But don't I see, I've become the Monster
My own selfish motives, has made me this way...

I, should not be Spared, from your Rage
I'm a Monster now
I, should be Destroyed, by Knife or Fist,
I'm the Monster now
I, have become, one of Them
My Soul is Evil now
I will go to Hell, its what I Deserve, its where I shall be
My Final place of Rest

Shift Of Control

Take me for a Run, make me feel Lazy
Take over my Head, make me go Crazy
Is this what You want, to Break me up
To take over my Thoughts, to Control my Life

Pull over my Strings, make me Choke
Destroy all my Dreams, Happiness Evoked
You feel your Need fills with this
But all I got to say is just One Thing...

Make me Blind, before you Try
Your Puppet Show, my Soul to Blow
I can Never Release You
Let me Cry, before I Die
And touch the Sky, end up Dry
And Cease to Exist

Cover me up, cover me Well
Cover my Head with your Big Black Veil
Some Mercy you should show, get Amused till I go
The Puppet Show, my Mind Below

Pull over my Strings, make me Choke
Destroy all my Feelings, my Happiness Evoked
You feel your Want, your Need, fills with this
But let me Holler this one Last time...

Make me Blind, before you Try
Your Puppet Show, my Soul to Blow
I can Never Release You
Let me Cry, before I Die
And touch the Sky, end up Dry
And Cease to Exist

And when you Use me till I Bleed
My Body endlessly Believes
My Soul is Cursed, my Life a Trap
But I use my Power to Release Myself...

As your Strings are cut down by my Knife
I Release Myself and make You Beg for Life
I'm not a Monster like You, I make no Suffering
But I need to Live with You, need to see Your Well-Being

And I Embrace you like a Man
My Eyes fixed on you, My Mercy can
Redeem your Life, Forgive your Sins
I am your Lifeline, I am your Man...

I won't make you Blind, I'll stay Beside
Forever Life, with you by my Side
And the Skies Above
Hold my Hand, I'll take you there
I'll bring you here, I'll be your Company
Every where

Embrace my Soul, its your Lifeline
You can find it's Kind, it feeds your Mind
And keeps you Alive

Take my Hand...
Embrace my Soul...

Be my Wife, the Story is Told
I Control, both our Lives
Now I'm your Man, my Life so Bold
And I Control...

And I Control...


Hello Hypothetical Followers!! :P

Well, the Cruciatus Charm still traps me during classes... But luckily I have found a good pastime... To write boring lyrics for my blog... Coming Up, not one, not two, not even three but FOUR pieces I have written... One with a different view on "Love Relationships", one on Self Realization and Dark Fallacy, one on Losing someone near and one on Dope... Hope you guys enjoy reading! If you do, that is!! Cheers!!

Friday, February 6, 2009


Let us start with a Story, About a Happy Man and his Days
The Fever of this Happiness, Justifies the Role that he Plays
Complications don't Arrive, Tragedies leave his life Alone
Conjuring in all Colorful, Sweet smelling Happiness in a Cone

But believe or not my Friends, this Platter of Happiness beckons Vice
Keep it locked inside one's Eyes, Feed it to the Children as Rice
These Priorities, Biased thinking Relativities, running away from Pain
Brings the woe, covers up its foe, Complicating the Human Brain

Living the thoughts Alone, Sole Survivor
Praying with both hands folded, Desperate Pleasure
Balance in and Balance Out, the Yin and the Yang influenced out
Crazy existence carried ahead, the Spice which wounds the Crowd

We are approaching
Endlessly moving

The Plague, Its awake
Like a virus Spread, Killing all things in its way
Striking the Womb, Released in the Coffin
Hoping to Reach, the eventual Tomb

Grief is not a Misfit, its what we feed, its our fault
We trap Happiness, Vicariously, Cruelly
Our Sons, Daughters, Mothers, Fathers,
Receive our share of Care
For the rest, why should we hide like a Coward?
Under this Wretched Draconian Veil?
Are we declaring Slime, Filth, or Rage?
And worst of all, its Inherent

The Plague, Its awake
Like a virus Spread, Killing all things in its way
Striking the Womb, Released in the Coffin too soon
The eventual Tomb attained, a Fatal Bane

Avoidance, my Dear Friend, Prevents this Fate
Don't run after Happiness, Keep your children Safe
Believe in the Balance, the Might of all Mights
The Vortex of Life, Through which you shall Pass
Balance in and Balance Out, the Yin and the Yang influenced out
Evil and Good must go Hand in Hand

And so, Strength to Comply, to Face, to Endure,
Serves a Far Greater Purpose, a Far Bigger Meaning,
Of passing through the Vortex of Life...

The Final Price for Life

He had to go... But is coming back

This song goes out to the ever present Guide, Mentor and Friend...


Desolated and Ignored
This Life Endlessly Weeps
Sorrow and the Darkness
Seeps into this Deep

Why can't there be Justice?
Nature's Vengeance in
The Lives of our Tomorrow
Away from the Common Din

Passive Reflexes
and the Ode to Survive
Brings Never Ending Pain
its the Karma Inside
Nights and Days Alike
all make us Weep and Tremble
Is this what we get?
Is this the Final Price for Life?
The Final Price for Life...

Genesis through Fate
Forever what we Hate
Crimson waves of Melancholy
Bitter Wretchedness
The Cloak of Disguise
Reflects all our Smiles
It Collapses now and then
When our Devils Arise

Pilgrimage and Service
are Evils Disguised
Maladies of Raindrops
falling out of Fake Delight
Running for the Happiness
a Mirage Awaiting
Is this all there is?
Is this the Final Price for Life?
The Final Price for Life...


When Satan gave the Apple
He became a part of Life
We should use this Life against him
Make him Burn to Dust and Die
Prosperity would come then
This Memory so Bold
I Guess this is what God gave us
He gave us Hope

Fight Fire with your Bare hands
triumph shall Arrive
Erase the Darkness in thy Soul
atleast a little you should try
The light which you're Seeking
would Embrace thy Existence
This is your Final Destiny
This is the Final Price for Life
The Final Price for Life...

Fight Fire with your Bare Hands
The Final Price for Life

Erase the Darkness
The Final Price for Life

Kill the Devil Inside
The Final Price for Life...

Coming up...

During the non-availability of my laptop, I happened to do a lot of things... Get pathetic grades, Write some shit and watch Opeth... Now watching Opeth was a seriously amazing experience... 10,000 people, Mikael singing the Drapery Falls... Was too much to handle :)

Here's evidence in support of the plaintiff:


Plus... Wrote a couple of Songs, one on how one faces peril in life and tries to overcome, and the other on how happiness alone cannot suffice without its alter ego...

And... We're Back!


Please don't buy HP Laptops... They suck real bad... My laptop functioned creepingly ok for a year... Ever since that, I have had to change my motherboard 4 friggin times! Which is of course ridiculous!

December 08, I give my laptop to the HP Services, and its lying there ever since, due to "unavailability of spare parts". Now if they really wanna learn Supply Chain Management and Just In Time Operations... Hell I can make HP way way better than what they are demonstrating now! Pathetic! Nonsense! Beasts! Illiterates! Sinha up mine!

I got a beautiful Dell Studio Lappie... On which I am posting right now... It is sheer brilliance... Go Dell!! :P